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Across the room, I noticed her crying. Amidst the festive dancing of Simchat Torah, there was one young lady experiencing something entirely different from the rest of us.We were in high school then & she was my closest friend. Yet, I was quite unprepared for what she would reveal to me. I could not know it at that time but her tears would leave an indelible impression on me. My perception of women’s role in religion and the limitations they suffer, was forever altered. I had always believed in equal rights and the general principles of equality of the sexes but somehow that didn’t translate so well to the orthodox world.
I sat down next to her, gently inquiring as to the nature of her distress. She looked up at me with glistening moist brown eyes and bemoaned her exclusion from dancing with the Torah. So deep was her love of God and His gift to us, it demanded expression. It could not be contained. She wanted to dance like King David for all to see her feelings for Hashem. But, alas, she would be denied that expression of her spirituality. She was relegated to sit off to the side, behind a curtain, to watch others achieve that which she could only dream. Instead of joy, there was suffering.
‘What love, what pain!’ I thought.
I went straight to the rabbi and asked him what is the halacha regarding women and dancing with the torah. I expected a long unsatisfying medieval discourse on its prohibition. What I got was a simple, there is no problem, get a torah for the ladies and let them dance. WOW! Mind you, this was an orthodox shul with very right wing politics. Who knew that there was a voice of reason after all?
Without delay I appropriated one of the torah’s for the women’s section. I have never seen such a smile nor have I seen such passionate dancing as I did that day.