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It was always a pleasure when Bessie came into my office. She was over one hundred years old and still full of life. She would regale me with stories of her youth and the insights she accrued over her lifetime. Her visits conjured up visions of how people felt when their grandmother would come over, although I could barely recall mine. She treated me like her favorite grandchild even though she had none. She related to me how she and her husband had decided not to bring children into this troubled world. It saddened me to hear this from such a wonderful woman, full of love and giving spirit. I imagined just how lucky her children would have been, had they been. Instead, Bessie focused on helping others in the nursing home, cheering them up, singing and enriching their day. When Bessie came to my office, she would always be baring gifts. Gifts she made herself. She painted vases and pictures. She even knitted booties for me as well as my wife (now ex).For years, Bessie followed an unusually regular schedule. She would come in every 2 months to replace her contacts. Yes, I said CONTACTS! Apparently, her contacts would discolor very quickly. In the early years, I would attempt to manually clean them. Perhaps there were protein or lipid deposits that could be removed by physically rubbing the lenses. It was no use. I was never able to salvage the lenses and she had to keep purchasing expensive lenses.
On one occasion, I asked her what her secret was for such a long and healthy life. She was eager to tell me the wisdom imparted to her by her grandmother. There really is a fountain of youth, her grandmother said. Every morning one should wash the face with his or her own urine. I cringed. Then I recalled all the times I cleaned those YELLOW contacts. Then I became a little nauseous. I begged her not to continue this routine, at least for the longevity of the contacts. She agreed to try it for a while.
A short time later she died!