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My child brought home a weekly Parsha sheet with its Mitzvah of the week. I expected to read the latest edition of the chumrah-of-the-week club but instead I was quite impressed.A young man was being tested on the entire four volumes of the Shulchan Aruch. One of the questions the Rabbi asked him was if he had studied the fifth volume (even though only 4 exist)! The Rabbi then explained, “The fifth volume is common sense…One can know halacha, but still not know how to speak to people…[one] has to be able to read between the lines of the question and see what is truly bothering that person. Sometimes the tone of voice you use…can save or break the person.” A person should know their audience and approach each issue with an open heart and open mind. “Most important, understand that sometimes there is a need to do more than what is written in the Shulchan Aruch.”
WOW!
Postscript: Ari told me, "In my Israeli alma mater, Neveh Yehoshua/Tzion, we were taught that the 5th chaylek of shulchan aruch is the one that says not to apply the other 4 if doing so will make Judaism and Jews look bad."