ADS 336x280 Here...
The first of my multitude of cousin’s has died suddenly of a heart attack. He was in his mid thirties, leaving behind a loving wife and two adopted Down Syndrome infants.
Baruch Da’ayan Emet
Pondering the inevitability of death and its often, sudden manifestation reminded me of something a young lady mentioned to me once. Tina and I were driving through her neighborhood for the first time and she pointed out to me many of its historic sites. One site in particular elicited more of a discussion than I would’ve imagined. That site was a very old graveyard. Apparently, there was a tour which she had availed herself of some time ago. She took notice of how many graves were of young women in their late teens and early twenties as well as many babies, infants and young children. Clearly, childbearing was a dangerous business back then. Even today it is fraught with risks but in the past without our technology, death and childbirth were joined at the hip.
Pondering the inevitability of death and its often, sudden manifestation reminded me of something a young lady mentioned to me once. Tina and I were driving through her neighborhood for the first time and she pointed out to me many of its historic sites. One site in particular elicited more of a discussion than I would’ve imagined. That site was a very old graveyard. Apparently, there was a tour which she had availed herself of some time ago. She took notice of how many graves were of young women in their late teens and early twenties as well as many babies, infants and young children. Clearly, childbearing was a dangerous business back then. Even today it is fraught with risks but in the past without our technology, death and childbirth were joined at the hip.
I remarked how devastating the loss of a child would be for the mother. To my surprise, Tina proceeded to ‘enlighten’ me that death due to disease and complications of pregnancy was a common occurrence and thus it was accepted. She put it in terms that seemed to express that women of old had come to accept this as a natural consequence of life and as such had shielded themselves in preparation. Mentally, they resisted forming strong bonds with their infants in anticipation of disaster.
I was flabbergasted at Tina’s remarks. She has quite a few children of her own and I asked her how she felt the first instant she saw her first child. I recalled my own experience where I felt so incredibly linked and bonded with my daughter the moment I saw her. Did she not experience the same? She claimed she did but then maintained that in the past women had to shore themselves up to protect themselves against the pain of a very plausible loss. I prodded further stating emphatically that I believed that sentiment was contrary to human nature especially from a mother. I could entertain the thought that people prepared themselves for the harshness of reality and even accepted the inevitable but I could not and still cannot fathom such a level of detachment. From what I recall, all the pregnant (and post-partum) women I ever met were much more emotional about things rather than less. Tina refused to acquiesce and I obstinately maintained my disbelief.
And there the conversation ended dead in its tracks.
