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It came upon me too soon, which oddly enough is something I hear all too often. I have been dating Tali now for just over a month, which is usually way too early to have an official night out on her parents dime. What was interesting was that her parents mentioned the idea to her but she rejected them, in hopes, she claimed, they would forget about the whole thing. But cease and desist they did not and so dinner was on the menu for the evening. Curiously, I didn't mind, which probably had something to do with there being steak involved. But a confession is in order, I like Tali, a lot. 'Like' is the only 'L'-word I'm ready to use now. That is unless Oreo cheese cake made just right could possibly push me over the edge. In fact there are many women looking to push me over the edge but not in the way I always imagined.Returning to the dinner at the steak house, I sat down next to Tali and directly opposite her mother. I'm sure they picked up on the fact that my right hand was not visible on the table. It, like other body parts, has a mind of its own. And it was seeking other like-minded individuals. Truth be told, I limited its adventure because her parents are very religious and I didn't want to send them into shock. The fact that her dad had a steak knife that made Mr. Dundee envious also played a role there.
Then came the interrogation. Her dad served in the military so he was no stranger to dealing with hostile forces. I know the rules of engagement so I hunkered down and prepared for a war of attrition. But it never came. They were polite and made pleasant conversation. I was almost disappointed. It was too easy...hmmm...is this part of some elaborate scheme to lure me in a sense of false security? What really happened to their last son-in-law? How come I have never actually physically seen or heard him? What was the purpose of the duffle bag with duct tape and a chain saw? What is wrong with this image?Because every man reading this is curious, I'll let you know. The steak was just right. Tender, juicy and mucho grande. Ladies, take the imagery wherever you so choose.
I think the greatest potential for conflict will arise from dessert. Tali and her mom both love dessert. In fact, dessert should be the main course in their opinion. I am from a very different school where the main dish should be double-sized leaving no room for even considering dessert. The only glimmer of hope for reconciliation here is that I can partake of her entree and she can have my dessert. More of what we each like, for each of us.
Tali related the story of my outing. I'm embarrassed to say, I did go shopping for clothes with Tali. For me. She told her parents that she liked my biceps when she saw me in a t-shirt we were looking to buy. Without missing a beat I said to Tali that I have to come out and confess, I'm bi-ceptual. She laughed but her mom didn't. You see, I like to make puns, some great, some horrible, most fall somewhere between the extremes. But no matter what, and to the chagrin of those I'm with, I never hold it back. My Achilles heel if you will. I do like heels, while we are on the subject but they do look better on Tali. I made some other less memorable puns that night. Her mom just gave me a look like you gotta be kidding, right? My response was that those looks just encourage me more, so she had better get used to it (said in a polite and light manner). Tali thinks me incorrigible.
Overall it went well, I wasn't mortally wounded, nothing spilled, the only stains were from an unrelated incident. So far no feedback but the sheriff ain't on my tail so I just keep on chasing tail.
Oh, by the way, did I mention that I like Tali?
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