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Dunkin' Donuts is really reaching out to the needs of the frum dating community. We all know how critical the separation of the sexes is. So much so that one wonders why it is even necessary to ever be seen with the opposite gender. But what is one to do on a date? Sometimes, in a cafe or quaint restaurant, the tables are so small that the proximity alarm naturally springs to life. Heaven forbid if the man brushes up against her sexy high heeled boots, no matter that they somehow pass muster as being tzniut (even though many guys go gaga over it). What if he reaches for more sugar or splenda (if he is watching his girly figure instead of hers) and his hand touches her french manicured finger? Perhaps he can actually smell her perfume and she, his halitosis. Closeness leads to magnification of flaws. Some even believe it leads to mixed dancing, heaven forbid! But who dances on tables anymore? Is that what any of us need?
To combat these heinous possibilities, Dunkin Donut offers the two tiered approach to dating: The Before and After Tables. Before marriage, there is a rectangular design placed such that each of the test subjects are placed at opposite ends with a respectable distance between them. Word on the street is that these tables will be adjustable to greater length based on the height of the individuals and corresponding leg length but I have yet to see them in service. The other table is for post marriage (or for the really adventurous engaged couple) when the couple would tolerate proximity. Although the manager in the Rockaway branch told me that increasingly many married couples are asking to be seated at the extended tables. They claim that they are being extra stringent in accordance with the chumrah of the week club but he winks and says he knows how poorly husband and wife relate to each other and they just want their space especially when she is wondering why on earth he is taking her here instead of some fancy restaurant in Manhattan. Cheap bastard. Images in his mind swirl around donuts and football not even aware that there is someone nagging him, praying he doesn't have to leave a tip.
Perhaps this elongated table should be considered the standard size and only the few, the lucky, the ones in true love can get the cozy table. Proof of compatibility and license to stare starry-eyed required.
To combat these heinous possibilities, Dunkin Donut offers the two tiered approach to dating: The Before and After Tables. Before marriage, there is a rectangular design placed such that each of the test subjects are placed at opposite ends with a respectable distance between them. Word on the street is that these tables will be adjustable to greater length based on the height of the individuals and corresponding leg length but I have yet to see them in service. The other table is for post marriage (or for the really adventurous engaged couple) when the couple would tolerate proximity. Although the manager in the Rockaway branch told me that increasingly many married couples are asking to be seated at the extended tables. They claim that they are being extra stringent in accordance with the chumrah of the week club but he winks and says he knows how poorly husband and wife relate to each other and they just want their space especially when she is wondering why on earth he is taking her here instead of some fancy restaurant in Manhattan. Cheap bastard. Images in his mind swirl around donuts and football not even aware that there is someone nagging him, praying he doesn't have to leave a tip.
Perhaps this elongated table should be considered the standard size and only the few, the lucky, the ones in true love can get the cozy table. Proof of compatibility and license to stare starry-eyed required.
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