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Nice Jewish Guy's ex had a saying that four seasons of dating were required before the words engagement/marriage could be uttered. I always promised myself that I would wait a year before I considered marriage. I didn't take my own advice and really screwed things up between me and Tali. It was close to Purim time when I first met Tali. I should have paid closer attention to the Megilah rather than stroking my groger. How many times have I heard, but never really appreciated the brilliance of the part where King Achashverosh had the women in his harem cared for and observed over the course of a year before they were brought to him. He was no fool, as we have been led to believe. He found out how their mood shifted monthly or if they had winter seasonal affective disorder. Did missing their mom cause a bought of bulimia? Were they caddy, petty, materialistic, and could they acquire beauty skills so sorely lacking in many old-world girls? It was only after proper research, over the course of the reasonable time of a year, did he then consider them worthy of joining with him. People can hide personality defects (Lord knows I try), quirks, bad habits, addictions, and other anomalies for only so long. Time is the great equalizer such that strategic information will ultimately make itself known. So my advice to you, and certainly to me, is wait patiently, watch closely, build intimacy, really get to know your partner before you dare make it official and allow the government (and many other relatives) to have a say in your life.Avoid chairem and start your harem early.
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