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There are two types of Alone-ness that have been recently identified through an informal survey of divorced men. The first is really a no brainer to understand: the alone-by-myself. There are guys who have been through emotion and financial hell. Heck, let's call it the all-inclusive-trip to HELL. And now they need to escape, to cut that trip short, change course, a time to disengage, step back and lick the wounds. A time to breathe a sigh of relief and get some SPACE. Shields up! Any potential female is an alien with rotating phaser frequencies that can never be fully modulated for. And wouldn't luck have it, the universal translator can't break their code. You can't win.Time to set course away from the event horizon of the black hole and find a dense nebulae to recoup and regroup. Being alone breaks the toxic experience. It allows the mind to breathe a bit, feel expansive without encroaching on dangerous areas. It gives one time to review previous strategies and mistakes as well as prepare the proper battle plan for the future. Because, let's face it, soon the klaxons will be blaring and the captain shouting battle-stations! INCOMING! Captain Kirk, it's time to shag the alien's girlfriend!
Others find being alone-by-themselves to be just too depressing. In such a scenario, they would succumb to a sense of gloom and failure, which would hang over them. Instead, they seek out relationships just to have some form of companionship even though they are not emotionally prepared to fully give, share and ultimately, love. The pain of previous loss or romanticizing a past love locks them in a hell of their own creation. They are not emotionally available to the one they are with, which by the way is absolutely not fair to that person. But they are also fooling themselves that they have moved forward. They cry out, "Isn't it obvious? Can't you see I'm dating somebody?" When in reality, they are alone-with-somebody.
Now, of course, there is no need to choose. You can easily fluctuate between the two stages, provided there is a woman foolish enough to get involved. So on the journey toward ultimate union remember that to get somebody, you sometimes have to go it ALONE.