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This holiday be the first on your block to experience the Jaws of Life. An expert crafted, unique design, tailored to allow you to rip away the klipah, outer-coating, that distorted mangled materialistic worldly garment you wear day-in and day-out, to finally rescue and expose your inner divine soul.You don't need police, firefighters or Tzivos Hashem to show up in your time of need. This prayerbook-sized, hand-held, mind-meld, can-opener for the soul is available to you for a nominal fee. So, you devil you, turn in your horns or shofars and get cranking!
This year, may we all be incised in the Jaws of Life!